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How to Choose a Filtering or Monitoring Product

The first thing you should do is consider what, if anything, you need for your child. Do you want to block age-inappropriate sites, do you want to restrict what apps they can download, do you want to protect them from being cyberbullied or bullying others? Do you want to know what your kids are doing online and, if so, how much information do you want? Some programs will give you nearly everything; others give you a summary, and some just flag what they consider to be troublesome content behavior.

Before you spend money, check out the tools that may already be controls on your devices or available from the maker of your device or operating system.

Free family-friendly tools and apps include:

There are of course many third-party tools. some are free and others cost money. ConnectSafely does not recommend specific tools, but here are links to credible independent sources for reviews of parental control tools:

Network-level control devices

Many internet service providers have parental control options as part of the settings for their gateways (a single device that includes both internet modem and a router) or other devices. There are also third-party routers and devices that work with PCs, game consoles, phones and any other devices that are either hardwired or connected by WiFi to your home network. These devices, however, may not work if your child's device has a cellular connection that doesn't require access to the home network. The service you already use may offer these controls and -- if you have a third-party router -- check with that company's website to see if they offer parental controls.

Shared devices

It's not uncommon for two or more family members to have access to the same device. Many devices, including Macs, Windows PCs, Android phones and TV streaming devices, allow you to create more than one account so that you can have different settings for different users. Other controls have passwords that enable adults or older children to bypass controls. Check with your device maker's or operating system's website for instructions to see if options are available.

Screen-time limits

There are apps that you can use to limit how much time your child spends on a device or service. Some are built-into devices themselves and others are part of services, apps or games aimed at children. These limits can help you control not only how much time a child spends using the device, but the time-of-day as well, allowing you to set a "bed-time" for when the device must be turned off. These tools can be useful, especially with younger children, but should always be a part of a larger discussion about the use of devices and media. Many parental control tools offer screen time manager as one of their features.

Stealth mode

While many don't even allow parents to secretly control or monitor their child's online behavior, some apps can run in "stealth mode" so that the child may not be aware they are in use. Except in very rare situations, we at ConnectSafely don't recommend the use of stealth mode. As a general rule, it's a good idea to talk with your kids about the controls and why you're using them. Besides, your child will likely figure out it's there anyway and if you do find something that concerns you, you don't want their first response to be "why are you spying on me." It's better to get that out of the way at the beginning.

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