Don't: Feel like you need to speak formally with your friend or follow a script. Saying something like, "I do not have the capacity to perform emotional labor at the moment" may feel forced or unnatural.
Do: Use words that feel comfortable and accessible to you both. One example of this might be texting someone: "tbh, I don't think I can give you my best rn. Could we talk after school?"
Don't: Interrogate or pester your friend with a lot of questions about their situation.
Do: Make space for them to share what they are comfortable sharing. For example, you could say something like, “You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to, but I care and am here to listen if you do want to share.”
Don't: Overpower the conversation by relating everything back to your own similar experiences. For example, avoid saying things like, “I totally understand. I experienced something similar and this is how I got through it.”
Do: Let them know that you recognize and respect their experiences. You could say something like, “I can’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I recognize how hard it must be. It never feels good to be treated like that.”
