Help teens feel helpful. Give them small tasks and responsibilities in the household, then praise them for what they have done and how they have handled themselves. Do not overburden teens with too many responsibilities, especially adult-like ones, as that will add to their anxiety.
Open the door for discussion. It's very typical for teens to say they don't want to talk. Try to start a conversation while you are doing an activity together, so that the conversation does not feel too intense or confrontational.
Consider peer groups. Some teenagers may feel more comfortable talking in groups with their peers, so consider organizing one. Also encourage conversation with other trusted adults, like a relative or teacher.
Limit exposure to TV, newspaper and radio. While teens can better handle the news than younger kids, those who are unable to detach themselves from TV or the radio may be trying to deal with anxiety in unhealthy ways. In any case, talk with your teen about the things they have seen or heard.
Help your teen take action. Kids this age will want to help the community. Find appropriate volunteer opportunities.
Be aware of substance abuse. Teens are particularly at risk for turning to alcohol or drugs to numb their anxiety. If your teen has been behaving secretively or is seemingly drunk or high, get in touch with a doctor. And talk to your teen in a kind way. For example, "People often drink or use drugs after a disaster to calm themselves or forget, but it can also cause more problems. Some other things you can do are take a walk, talk to me or your friends about how you feel, or write about your hopes for a better future."
How to help kids ages 12 to 18 cope with the death of a loved one:
Be patient. Teens may have a fear of expressing emotions about death. Encourage them to talk by saying something like, "I know it is horrible that grandma has died. Experts say it's good to share our feelings. How are you doing?"
Be very open. Discuss the ways you feel the death may be influencing their behavior.
Be flexible. It is okay, at this time, to have a little more flexibility with rules and academic and behavioral expectations.
Memorialize meaningfully. Pray together at home, let your teen light a candle at church, and include her in memorial ceremonies. She might also appreciate doing a private family tribute at home.
