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Taking Care of Yourself - First

You are the only one who can give your child a healthy parent

 

As parents trying to help a child struggling with substance misuse, one of the most vital things we can do is take care of our own mental and emotional health first. It's so easy to get caught up in fear and frustration, losing sleep, neglecting self-care, and putting our entire life on hold attempting to "fix" our child's situation.

But we can't guide anyone else into health when we're sinking into physical and emotional depletion ourselves. Running on fumes, we have little capacity left to model resilience or mindfulness. Taking time for rest and renewal isn't selfish, it's wise stewardship and a gift to yourself and your family.

Take a look at this list and notice any early warning signs that you're sacrificing self-care:

  • Constant edginess, worry and feelings of panic or anxiety
  • Obsessively tracking your child's every move
  • Ruminating on the past and searching fruitlessly for reasons why your child is misusing substances
  • Withdrawing from family and friends because you feel ashamed and exhausted
  • Neglecting exercise and healthy food resulting in weight gain or loss
  • Lack of consistent, deep sleep

When you recognize these patterns emerging, you can counteract them by:

  • Confiding in trusted friends or family members about what you're facing
  • Working with a counselor or therapist to process painful and confusing emotions
  • Joining a local or online parent support community
  • Finding a way to move your body regularly through simple exercises or activities
  • Carving out time for hobbies and activities unrelated to your child's issues
  • Letting go of guilting yourself for "allowing" their substance use

Strengthening yourself equips you to compassionately and strategically motivate change. It might sound impossible, but if you can nurture and grow inner peace amidst the chaos, it can help lead your child out of their unhealthy relationship with substances. Pour into your cup first before trying to pour from an empty vessel.

Think about your current ways of coping with your stress, and how not taking care of yourself might be impacting your family.

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