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Spotting Signs of a Problem

Awareness is the first step toward positive change

 

As parents, we want to trust our kids. We want to believe they can handle new freedoms responsibly. But substance use can escalate quickly during adolescence and early adulthood as our kids individuate, move out, attend college or simply gain more independence. As caring, aware parents, we need to watch for changes in behavior that might be signs our child is misusing alcohol or other drugs. 

I know how hard it is to accept that your child could be headed down an unhealthy path. I remember the shock and worry I felt when I received that first telltale phone call from the middle school with news that my son was caught with marijuana. But minimizing or even dismissing signs of escalating use might be increasing the potential risks for your child - which is why you're here. You care, you know something's not right, and you're putting in the work to figure out what to do. 

That's a big first step.

To help with the confusion of this situation, here are some common signs your teen or young adult may be slipping into unhealthy dependency: 

  • Withdrawing from your family life and losing interest in activities they used to enjoy
  • Extreme mood changes like heightened irritability, drowsiness, excitability, or giddiness
  • Secretiveness around new friends or evasiveness about where they're going
  • Finding alcohol or drug paraphernalia in their room or car
  • Decline in academic performance (sometimes hard to catch if they're away at college)
  • Sudden changes in sleep habits or appetite; lack of energy and motivation
  • Noticeable changes in their hygiene or self-care, skin and dental issues, weight loss, appearing unkempt 

Spotting these signs early and addressing them with compassion is critical. Criticizing, threatening punishments, or angrily demanding that your child “get their act together,” tends to only isolate them further. They need your empathy, concern, and emotional support during this vulnerable time. But how do you do that?

Today’s evidence-based approaches validate that instead of condemnation, parents need to offer active listening while holding back the judgment. Create a safe space where your child can share what’s going on without fear of reprisal. Getting at the root causes of their unhealthy behavior is essential to start to find help and healing for them, and your whole family.

With compassion and education, you can intervene early when signs appear, and motivate real change through care, not coercion. Keep reading to learn ways to take a new, often refreshing approach to what’s likely the most challenging adversity you face right now.

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